Yesterday was International Men’s Day. There were no corporations springing to advertise how they were working to help men, or how they were seeking to address men’s issues. Google didn’t even change its homepage. And celebrities? Those little glory hunting idiots? They were by and large silent.
Loose Women did a Loose Men programme which was good, but it won’t create anything meaningful.
Why? Because it is far easier to issue meaningless slogans than to effect real change. It is easier for middle class women who embody the very epitome of privilege to mouth meaningless slogans about encouraging men to talk, whilst at the same time slapping them in the face for not doing anything to actually make themselves be better despite the hurdles facing them.
And of course we can’t forget that the main organisations and those women who claim to care often end up making it about themselves. Because it’s fine for them to do it, but woe betide any man who does that on their day.
It makes people feel good to say that they’re all for men talking about their feelings and their worries. But what they really mean is that men must talk about this shit in a manner that appeases them. Men cannot talk angrily about anything, we must talk softly lest we scare others.
That we might be feeling pissed off, angry, suicidal, frustrated or scared doesn’t matter. Our tone does. We cannot scream and shout, we can’t punch something, we can have no release. We must police ourselves so that others don’t get scared.
Meanwhile, men continue to die in alarming numbers, men continue to make up the homeless population and on it goes. Why? Because men are being told to change, whilst society expects us to remain stuck within a box that we should never have been put in.
There is no winning, not without help, but that help will never come.